Saturday, November 14, 2009

Age Identity

Now and then I read academic books that are so dense in theory and research that I can only read about 5 pages at a time. One that I'm reading now is Aged by Culture, by age researcher Margaret Morganroth Gullette. This is an important book but not an easy one. She defines her field and she defines much else, it's a heavy meal. I am not coming across pithy things to underline because that is definitely not the style. But the following longish bit seemed something I wanted to share. It's from a section called "Age Identity as an Achievement."
Age identity is a special subset of autobiography -- I understand broadly, as a narrative that anyone can tell about one's self, to self and others, whether informally in conversation or written for archival purposes. No particular level of education is required. Age identity is special because its focus is on the meaning of long time, although it can highlight one-time events or short periods of epiphanies. It's what I report when I stand back to survey where my "historic" trail has led me. From observation and self-report, I think that identity over time can be seen as a sense of an achieved portmanteau "me" -- made up, for each subject, of all its changeable and continuing selves together -- connected in different ways, or intermittently, but sometimes barely at all, to a sensuously material body.

The partially conscious, partially unselfconscious, agglomeration includes private, self-defined traits, relationships, heartbreaks, and desires; the secret my father told me when I was eleven, the secret I told my son when he was twenty-one, stuff I'll never tell about early sex, ambitions relinquished, dreams maintained against the odds. Memories of this kind feel authentic, and if they are not, nothing is.

I think of this above quote especially in relation to the writing class I am in at the local community college where most people are writing memoir pieces. A couple that were read yesterday were particularly memorable. It was interesting that one writer let the work speak for itself which it did powerfully. The other writer had no confidence in his writing -- which was quite vivid and needed not explication. But he talked and talked about the subject before and after reading his work. The former was willing to project identity and trust what he wrote, the latter neither trusted his writing nor was he self-assured enough to feel he had project himself adequately.

[the portrait above is, of course, Georgia O'Keefe]

1 comment:

Kass said...

This post has given me a lot to think about concerning how I want to write. This is the paragraph that got me: " It's what I report when I stand back to survey where my "historic" trail has led me. From observation and self-report, I think that identity over time can be seen as a sense of an achieved portmanteau "me" -- made up, for each subject, of all its changeable and continuing selves together -- connected in different ways, or intermittently, but sometimes barely at all, to a sensuously material body."
- which brings me to a blog I read yesterday Where Hot Comes To Die by a Hollywood comedian:
"The Whitney in NYC is giving a retrospective of Georgia O'Keeffe's work and in an article in NY Magazine, they excerpt this from her journal, from a letter she wrote to her husband, photographer Alfred Stieglitz:

'...on my back - wanting to be spread wide apart.'

So my deepest fear is realized. I have journals, mostly written when life did not run smoothly. So there are millions of them. There are parts that are very sexual and a few years ago I tried to edit them by tearing out all the sexual parts but eventually gave up because I'm apparently some kind of sex perv when it comes to documenting what various men liked and didn't like. Reading them back, especially the ones from the 90's, gave me a mini heart attack.

I will die and they will be read. Or I will never die and then I'm golden."

Do you ever hold back when tapping the depths of your history because you have a perceived audience that you think won't understand or accept you? This is an on-going struggle with me, having such loud voices screaming at me from my childhood. And other times I say, 'F' it - this is who I am.

I know you are busy writing your many thousands of words right now, but I just wanted to comment and again say, thank-you for sharing what you are learning.